Uncertain
by Pam
(Philippines)
I have been meditating for almost 2 years now. I started doing that because I was going through a rough time with my life back then and I found out that meditation can help me. I am not religious but I sporadically practice meditation and quite excited about the result it gave me. I was living my life in a routine manner and somehow I ended up knowing about the Illuminati on youtube and I have been obsessed ever since.
Even before being obsessed with "conspiracy theory" stuff, I had 2 months of suffering of vertigo and during that time, for the first time in my life, something weird happened to my period. During those 2 months, my first period is very light and the following month, it was really heavy. I thought it was weird but it is only logical thing to think that maybe that's just nature. I guess hormonal imbalance is normal.
As I continue researching, I am then become aware of "awakening."
It freaked me out that I have some of those symptoms. I am becoming more and more obsess with the possibility of my capability to see beyond the physical things that I no longer know if I am just over thinking or if it's an actual awakening.
I don't think my 3rd eye chakra is open but I feel I am close. Everytime I close my eyes, I am afraid to fall asleep coz I have been experiencing OBE via sleep paralysis and at one point, a guide calmed me down that when I woke up, it freaked me out coz I have been suffereing sleep paralysis all my life and it was first time that a shadow actually calmed me down and I just submitted. No words.
I have no one to talk to about it and I am confused. I think it won't be long til my friends think that I am a cuckoo. Please help me.